Ok, so I have this sweet goal of becoming a travelling poet and writing 365 poems. So here are the random limericks we wrote about each other to get me started...
Kim
Once there was a girl named Kim,
One day, her light bulb went dim.
She went to the store,
and bought a new door,
and married a clerk named Jim.
Ania
Once there was a girl named Ania.
She sang and had many fannas.
She fell off the stage,
and into a cage,
and now she eats only bananas.
Korky
Once there was a girl named Korky,
she ate her food with a forky.
Her mother made ham,
covered in jam,
and Korky ate her porky.
Jenn
Once there was a girl named Jenn,
She liked to chew on her pen,
she swallowed the lid,
while on e-bay she bid,
in the room of her house called the den.
Devon
Once there was a girl named Devon,
she died and went to heaven.
She stands at the gates,
and patiently waits,
then realizes she’s at Seven Eleven.
Amy
Once there was a girl named Amy,
she painted her guitar all flamey
She started to play,
where dead peoples lay,
and the world was never the same-y.
Stacy
Once there was a girl named Stacy,
she tripped and fell on her face-y.
We helped her up,
and gave her a cup,
filled with liquid that was very paste-y.
Alex
There once was a girl named Alex,
who always wrote her name in italics.
Until one day,
she turned gay, (meaning happy)
and was friends with many fanatics.
Chloe
Once there was a girl named Chloe
She liked to kneed dough that’s doughy.
She baked a cake,
that was burned on a stake,
and all through the night it was glowing.
Britt
Once there was a girl named Britt,
on the front porch she did sit.
A dino walked by,
and Brittany said hi!
And the Dino pulled out a first aid kit.
RANDOM!
Once there was a girl named Desjardien,
who thought she was the danger man,
She sprang into action,
got killed by a fraction,
for that was the fraction’s maniacal plan.
Limericks are FUN!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Journal, Page Six - Oh...Moments
From the Nerd-Tastic Journal...
Date: Semester 2
Place: History Class
Don’t you just love those moments where you’re just like Oh....
Well here’s a bunch from the nerds.
1. Amanda: Your sheet says “Laurie” instead of “Laurier”.
Korky: Wait, what? Oh... Who’s Laurier?
Amanda: He was a Prime Minister.
Korky: Oh, was he?
Amanda: Yeah, he’s on the five dollar bill.
Korky: We have a five dollar bill?
Amanda: *nods*
Korky: Oh...
2. Amanda: Korky’s name was on the board last day in history.
Ania: What? Did you get detention or something?
Korky: No... it was in history, remember? My last name’s the same as that french place.
Ania: Oh... yeah.
3. Amanda: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GRILLED CHEESE AND UN-MOULDY TOAST, DON’T LEAVE AGAIN!
Korky: I can see a person writing an exam with a grilled cheese sandwich beside them...
Amanda: Oh... *high-fives* Mad Skillage.
4. Amanda: The only thing I like about this movie is the logo.
Both (at the same time): I know, it’s so... Canadian. Ohhh... Mad Skillage.
5. NOTE: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME
*passing the water bottle from person to person across the table really fast to randomly test reflexes*
*Korky pulls sweet reflexes and launches the bottle through the hole in the back of the empty chair*
All: OH!!!! MAD SKILLS!
6. NOTE: DO NOT TRY THIS ANYWHERE
Where? Complex.
What? A plastic fork and a stack of empty pop cans.
How? Smack the fork on the opposite end sending it flying straight into the pop cans and toppling them everywhere.
Oh? HELLZ YEAH!
7. *Dude in stupid history movie complains that women are worth nothing and don’t deserve to vote*
Amanda: Dude, you have issues.
Korky: His mamma never loved him...
Both: Ohh... XD
8. Quotes from the History teacher.
~ This is a song about a dog named lucky... (sweet Brittany Spears impression)
~ Thank God for construction workers.
~ I’m a fairly intelligent person, it just didn’t come off that way...
Oh God...
9. Amy: You people are embarrassing.
Us: Oh...
10. ?
That’s all for now, tune in next entry for limericks! Heck Yeah!
Date: Semester 2
Place: History Class
Don’t you just love those moments where you’re just like Oh....
Well here’s a bunch from the nerds.
1. Amanda: Your sheet says “Laurie” instead of “Laurier”.
Korky: Wait, what? Oh... Who’s Laurier?
Amanda: He was a Prime Minister.
Korky: Oh, was he?
Amanda: Yeah, he’s on the five dollar bill.
Korky: We have a five dollar bill?
Amanda: *nods*
Korky: Oh...
2. Amanda: Korky’s name was on the board last day in history.
Ania: What? Did you get detention or something?
Korky: No... it was in history, remember? My last name’s the same as that french place.
Ania: Oh... yeah.
3. Amanda: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GRILLED CHEESE AND UN-MOULDY TOAST, DON’T LEAVE AGAIN!
Korky: I can see a person writing an exam with a grilled cheese sandwich beside them...
Amanda: Oh... *high-fives* Mad Skillage.
4. Amanda: The only thing I like about this movie is the logo.
Both (at the same time): I know, it’s so... Canadian. Ohhh... Mad Skillage.
5. NOTE: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME
*passing the water bottle from person to person across the table really fast to randomly test reflexes*
*Korky pulls sweet reflexes and launches the bottle through the hole in the back of the empty chair*
All: OH!!!! MAD SKILLS!
6. NOTE: DO NOT TRY THIS ANYWHERE
Where? Complex.
What? A plastic fork and a stack of empty pop cans.
How? Smack the fork on the opposite end sending it flying straight into the pop cans and toppling them everywhere.
Oh? HELLZ YEAH!
7. *Dude in stupid history movie complains that women are worth nothing and don’t deserve to vote*
Amanda: Dude, you have issues.
Korky: His mamma never loved him...
Both: Ohh... XD
8. Quotes from the History teacher.
~ This is a song about a dog named lucky... (sweet Brittany Spears impression)
~ Thank God for construction workers.
~ I’m a fairly intelligent person, it just didn’t come off that way...
Oh God...
9. Amy: You people are embarrassing.
Us: Oh...
10. ?
That’s all for now, tune in next entry for limericks! Heck Yeah!
Journal, Page 5 - Nerd-Tastic Lists
From the Nerd-tastic Journal...
Date: January 28 2009.
Place: The school forum.
Once again we write after boring exams. Karlene and I were stuck at school and thought we’d write something. So you know those stupid Chuck Norris lists? Well the Nerds felt they needed one. Because who’s better than Chuck Norris? THE NERDS!
1. We were uncool before uncool became cool.
2. Being normal is soooooo over rated.
3. Being normal is admitting you have serious problems
4. If we weren’t smart, we’d be delinquents.
5. If you can’t face it, how do you live it?
6. We’re not smart. We just understand life.
7. The answer to everything is 42.
8. Because the answer to everything is 42, everything is molybdenum.
9. In some alien species, ever 42nd girl must be named Moly B. Denum.
10. NOTE TO SELF: do not stare at the sun.
11. NOTE TO SELF: do not light yourself on fire.
12. Vampire monkey cross-breeds sparkle when exposed to UV radiation. Therefore, we, the nerds, conclude that Edward Cullen is part monkey.
14. Contrary to popular belief, the 13th room on the 13th floor of the 13th building on the 13th street, 13 kilometres away from where you are standing in the 13th state holding the 13th star on the American flag leads to heaven, and not hell, but only if you read this as the 13th statement.
15. Did you notice there was no 13th statement? It took a hike.
16. The Mayan people were aliens. They will return to earth on December 21, 2012.
17. Humans are not the only intelligent species on earth. There’s us. And monkeys.
18. You know those things lurking in the shadows? They’re real. (Make friends)
19. You have reached your full potential in life when you can have a coherent conversation with your shadow.
20. You should be afraid of Batman. He knows the Joker.
21. Karlene can make bats disappear.
22. Kortlynn may or may not be the goddess of fire. (fire=love)
23. Amanda’s special. She has voices in her head. They may attack you without warning.
24. Chloe’s glasses of awesomeness give her x-ray vision. Be very afraid.
25. Britt may or may not be a vampire.
26. Jenn’s locker has a 4th dimention.
27. Amy’s blackberry is capable if time travel.
28. The monkey pencil case is capable of flight.
29. People on TV seem to care more about their spleens than their other vital organs.
30. If you press the SHIFT key 5 times the computer squeaks.
31. You just tried it.
32. Alzheimer’s is the next cancer.
33. NOTE TO SELF: Don’t play with liquid nitrogen.
34. Isaac Newton discovered gravity because an apple fell on his head. In truth, we threw it at him.
35. Karlene’s student card says she’s 110 years old.
36. Elevators should have a skill testing question. It would stop all the stupid people from pushing all the buttons. (We know you do it)
37. You can’t fix Amanda’s memory. The voices take up too much room.
38. You can’t read the Nerds’ minds. We are capable of metal blocks. Prevents junk mail.
39. My periodic table has pictures.... doesn’t yours?
40. It’s healthy to throw books at walls.
Check back to this one, something new might have been added!
Date: January 28 2009.
Place: The school forum.
Once again we write after boring exams. Karlene and I were stuck at school and thought we’d write something. So you know those stupid Chuck Norris lists? Well the Nerds felt they needed one. Because who’s better than Chuck Norris? THE NERDS!
1. We were uncool before uncool became cool.
2. Being normal is soooooo over rated.
3. Being normal is admitting you have serious problems
4. If we weren’t smart, we’d be delinquents.
5. If you can’t face it, how do you live it?
6. We’re not smart. We just understand life.
7. The answer to everything is 42.
8. Because the answer to everything is 42, everything is molybdenum.
9. In some alien species, ever 42nd girl must be named Moly B. Denum.
10. NOTE TO SELF: do not stare at the sun.
11. NOTE TO SELF: do not light yourself on fire.
12. Vampire monkey cross-breeds sparkle when exposed to UV radiation. Therefore, we, the nerds, conclude that Edward Cullen is part monkey.
14. Contrary to popular belief, the 13th room on the 13th floor of the 13th building on the 13th street, 13 kilometres away from where you are standing in the 13th state holding the 13th star on the American flag leads to heaven, and not hell, but only if you read this as the 13th statement.
15. Did you notice there was no 13th statement? It took a hike.
16. The Mayan people were aliens. They will return to earth on December 21, 2012.
17. Humans are not the only intelligent species on earth. There’s us. And monkeys.
18. You know those things lurking in the shadows? They’re real. (Make friends)
19. You have reached your full potential in life when you can have a coherent conversation with your shadow.
20. You should be afraid of Batman. He knows the Joker.
21. Karlene can make bats disappear.
22. Kortlynn may or may not be the goddess of fire. (fire=love)
23. Amanda’s special. She has voices in her head. They may attack you without warning.
24. Chloe’s glasses of awesomeness give her x-ray vision. Be very afraid.
25. Britt may or may not be a vampire.
26. Jenn’s locker has a 4th dimention.
27. Amy’s blackberry is capable if time travel.
28. The monkey pencil case is capable of flight.
29. People on TV seem to care more about their spleens than their other vital organs.
30. If you press the SHIFT key 5 times the computer squeaks.
31. You just tried it.
32. Alzheimer’s is the next cancer.
33. NOTE TO SELF: Don’t play with liquid nitrogen.
34. Isaac Newton discovered gravity because an apple fell on his head. In truth, we threw it at him.
35. Karlene’s student card says she’s 110 years old.
36. Elevators should have a skill testing question. It would stop all the stupid people from pushing all the buttons. (We know you do it)
37. You can’t fix Amanda’s memory. The voices take up too much room.
38. You can’t read the Nerds’ minds. We are capable of metal blocks. Prevents junk mail.
39. My periodic table has pictures.... doesn’t yours?
40. It’s healthy to throw books at walls.
Check back to this one, something new might have been added!
Journal, Page 4 - Short Stories
From the Nerd-tastic Journal...
Date: January 26, 2009
Place: The school forum.
Have you ever played that game where one person writes a sentence, and then the next person does and so on and so forth? Well that’s what we did after exams today. Rather interesting results. Read on, now...
START!
Once upon a time in a land far away there was a magical flipper-whichy.
IT WAS SHINY!
And Edward Cullen came up and gripped it with both hands and licked it.
It screamed and caused Edward to disintegrate.
He was transported to Ouaka.
Ouaka was a magical place filled with mystery and deceit.
The flipper-whichy wanted to bring destruction to the land.
And so paired up with the half vampire, half warlock Jenygoatwhich.
And they made love beneath a shady apple tree.
A lightning storm sent them running to the safety of the great plains.
But the great plains weren’t as safe as they thought they would be. For there was no cover and there was a Minotaur waiting for them.
But they blew into the great horn of the Gods and Theseus showed up and fought the Minotaur.
The Minotaur was stronger than he looked. Out of nowhere he drew a knife and threatened to kill Theseus.
And crimson blood poured from Theseus’ chest. He cried out to the heavens for the love of his life who had saved him from the Minotaur once before.
The heavens answered his prayers. Gabriel came from heaven, making a deal with him. He could come back to life but he would be a mermaid.
He would live for 10 years as a mermaid, but then he would turn into a cow and live for 10 years as a cow.
After 10 years as a cow he would turn into a tree and be forced to dance with the tree nymphs of the forest.
The nymphs loved the cow, well most of them did. And one nymph was determined to get revenge on the cow before the cow turned into a tree.
So he prayed to the heavens for a cow and Gabriel made a deal with him. He could have a cow if he became a unicorn. The nymph agreed to the offer.
And Gabriel turned him into a mighty unicorn, majestic and strong. He ruled the forest with his beauty, though his hide was covered with crimson marks.
Which one day turned violet and sparkly and the unicorn was happy.
Until the unicorn’s best friend was eaten by a vampire! Mwahahahahaha.
The unicorn cried and went to his grave. He prayed to heaven and once again Gabriel came down. He said he couldn’t bring him back but he could give him a large sum of money to make him feel better.
So he took the money, feeling as though he had more than a fair chance at life and threw the money to the poor peasants of the forest as he climbed the technicolour stairs to the gates of heaven.
Where he met Saint Peter who let him open the gates for others.
The others liked cheese. They even made cheese and sometimes the cheese was EVIL!
The evil cheese attacked them. They fought back with pens and swords. It was a gruesome fight and some died in the battle.
And from the sky rained molten cheese which burned the inhabitants of the world below.
Then the cheese turned to ice cream.
And the ice cream into yogurt. The yogurt ate a goat and then chose to follow its dreams and take over the world. Mwahahahahaha.
And the shape shifter goat-man came and annihilated the yogurt, stopping its rage of world destruction.
Then the girl came riding on the elephant and attacked him with the magical flipper-whichy.
The magic flipper-whichy glowed RAINBOW. And beat and beat the whatever that is. The attack on the ugly thingy magically made it so the area was covered in blood. The Cullens showed up, drawn by the scent of the blood. Edward bent down and was about to lick the grass when he saw the flipper-whichy. His jaw dropped with and “o” and if he could drool, he would have. He pointed and ran, chasing after the girl and the flipper-whichy, determined to run to the ends of the earth to get the last lick of the flipper-whichy.
THE END.
Date: January 26, 2009
Place: The school forum.
Have you ever played that game where one person writes a sentence, and then the next person does and so on and so forth? Well that’s what we did after exams today. Rather interesting results. Read on, now...
START!
Once upon a time in a land far away there was a magical flipper-whichy.
IT WAS SHINY!
And Edward Cullen came up and gripped it with both hands and licked it.
It screamed and caused Edward to disintegrate.
He was transported to Ouaka.
Ouaka was a magical place filled with mystery and deceit.
The flipper-whichy wanted to bring destruction to the land.
And so paired up with the half vampire, half warlock Jenygoatwhich.
And they made love beneath a shady apple tree.
A lightning storm sent them running to the safety of the great plains.
But the great plains weren’t as safe as they thought they would be. For there was no cover and there was a Minotaur waiting for them.
But they blew into the great horn of the Gods and Theseus showed up and fought the Minotaur.
The Minotaur was stronger than he looked. Out of nowhere he drew a knife and threatened to kill Theseus.
And crimson blood poured from Theseus’ chest. He cried out to the heavens for the love of his life who had saved him from the Minotaur once before.
The heavens answered his prayers. Gabriel came from heaven, making a deal with him. He could come back to life but he would be a mermaid.
He would live for 10 years as a mermaid, but then he would turn into a cow and live for 10 years as a cow.
After 10 years as a cow he would turn into a tree and be forced to dance with the tree nymphs of the forest.
The nymphs loved the cow, well most of them did. And one nymph was determined to get revenge on the cow before the cow turned into a tree.
So he prayed to the heavens for a cow and Gabriel made a deal with him. He could have a cow if he became a unicorn. The nymph agreed to the offer.
And Gabriel turned him into a mighty unicorn, majestic and strong. He ruled the forest with his beauty, though his hide was covered with crimson marks.
Which one day turned violet and sparkly and the unicorn was happy.
Until the unicorn’s best friend was eaten by a vampire! Mwahahahahaha.
The unicorn cried and went to his grave. He prayed to heaven and once again Gabriel came down. He said he couldn’t bring him back but he could give him a large sum of money to make him feel better.
So he took the money, feeling as though he had more than a fair chance at life and threw the money to the poor peasants of the forest as he climbed the technicolour stairs to the gates of heaven.
Where he met Saint Peter who let him open the gates for others.
The others liked cheese. They even made cheese and sometimes the cheese was EVIL!
The evil cheese attacked them. They fought back with pens and swords. It was a gruesome fight and some died in the battle.
And from the sky rained molten cheese which burned the inhabitants of the world below.
Then the cheese turned to ice cream.
And the ice cream into yogurt. The yogurt ate a goat and then chose to follow its dreams and take over the world. Mwahahahahaha.
And the shape shifter goat-man came and annihilated the yogurt, stopping its rage of world destruction.
Then the girl came riding on the elephant and attacked him with the magical flipper-whichy.
The magic flipper-whichy glowed RAINBOW. And beat and beat the whatever that is. The attack on the ugly thingy magically made it so the area was covered in blood. The Cullens showed up, drawn by the scent of the blood. Edward bent down and was about to lick the grass when he saw the flipper-whichy. His jaw dropped with and “o” and if he could drool, he would have. He pointed and ran, chasing after the girl and the flipper-whichy, determined to run to the ends of the earth to get the last lick of the flipper-whichy.
THE END.
Journal, Page 3 - Last Class
From the Nerd-tastic Journal...
Date: January 22, 2009
Place: CANADA
Not much happened today. That’s fact. So your not going to get an extensive rant from me. But I’d have to write you guys something. I couldn’t just leave you like this. So instead of me ranting, you get all of us ranting!
Chloe: Why am I the most pale out of everyone?
Korky: Geez, you are pale.
Amanda: Because she’s a vampire! RAWR!
Chloe: MONKEY ATTACK!
Kortlynn is currently being amused by my clipboard. We’re writing in Religion class. Sadly, our last religion class together.
Amanda: notice how the Religion teacher is flipping out on everyone else but doesn’t give a care what we’re doing?
Korky: but we’re nerds...
Amanda: right.
Korky: I EAT ZEE MONKEY!
Amanda: NOOOOOO DON’T EAT ZEE MONKEY! ZEE MONKEY HAS RABIES!!
Korky: DON’T TOUCH THE MONKEY! *touches the monkey*
*Chloe glares*
Korky: YOU SAW NOTHING! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOAAAAAA
Amanda: we have serious issues.
Korky: that’s nice, a monkey up the nose.
Korky: Why don’t you ever write on the back side of the paper, Amanda?
Chloe: I DO!
Amanda: It feels... filthy.
Korky: OH GOD! I LIKE PIE!
Korky: She can’t write down everything we say... that would take forever.
Chloe: *attacks Korky with Monkey pencil case* (I probs should have mentioned the monkey was a pencil case before...O.o)
Korky: Mesh touche pas! DON’T TOUCH!
Chloe: Monkey?
Britt: *passes Amanda a piece of paper*
Amanda: *reads paragraph*
Amanda: Wow. This epically needs drastic grammatical help. Like seriously. Oh yeah, this Nerd-tastic adventure was supposed to be about epicness...
*Korky and Chloe touch rings*
Both: Nerd-tastic powers! Oh. Wow. Didn’t think about that...
Amanda: Korky has a bullet-proof binder! Care to elaborate Korky?
Korky: My binder will rule all! Mwahahahahahahaha.
*Chloe repeatedly pokes Korky’s head*
Chloe: Your head sounds hollow.
Korky: I will destroy you!
Chloe: Your head sounds hollow in different places.
Korky: ...
Korky: *glares* *itches nose* *eye twitch* I can’t do that.
Amanda: *with interviewer epic voice* So Korky, are your religion notes epic?
Korky: why yes. Yes they are. That is just utterly disturbing.
*laughing*
Korky: Azura! That’s the name of one of the characters in my story...
Chloe: that’s my cousin’s name.
*cricket chirps*
Amanda: Should we take this opportunity to brag about our stories so Mibba peoples will read them?
Korky: Yes! Advertising in stories is the best way of... you know... that thing....
Amanda: Subliminal Messaging?
Korky: yes that.
Amanda: so, who’s going first?
Korky: since your story is most epic, you should go first.
Chloe: Go the M-man!
Korky: *to Chloe* you’re... you’re just off, you know that? Just off...
Amanda: DREAM CATCHER = EPICNESS + EVIL AWESOME VILLAIN OF AWESOMENESS + ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! Korky, your turn.
*Korky turns page over*
Chloe: You’re using the filthy side...
Korky: that’s so retarded.
Amanda: *giggles* It’s retardedly funny, that’s the point. XD
Chloe: Are you playing evil tricks on us?
Amanda: love FISH like Jesus loved FISH!
Korky: oh wow.
Britt: Chloe is not the most pale, I am.
Amanda: We meant in this here vicinity.
Korky: ooo big word.
*Chloe pokes Korky*
Korky: If you don’t stop doing this, you’ll feel my wrath!
Chloe *giggles*
Karlene: I was wondering who the monkey was... then it hit me.
Amanda: *throws monkey at Karlene* There. Now it’s literal.
Kortlynn: *stares at Chloe* You look like Elvis Prestly.
Amanda: WHAT?
Amanda: The computer has issues with your name Kortlynn. The Word spell check wants to change your name to has something to do with a murderer.
Korky: ...
*Amanda turns to see Korky doing weird animal style sign language*
Amanda: Wow. I can’t even explain that right.... you just sooooooo would have had to see it.
Korky: I was going for vamp. You’re just jealous because I have mad skill! I can so communicate with monkies.
Chloe: OMG that was perfect.
Korky: *mutters something*
Amanda: Did you say little wall-mart robot Martian?
Korky: wombat.
Amanda: what the heck?
Korky: It has mad ninja skills.
Amanda: O.o
Korky: I can just see it staring at you with its beady black little eyes.... *Continues animal sign language*
Chloe: does the monkey know?
Korky: One day we’re going to be in an epically serious situation and you’re going to need my animal sign language and I’ll be there....
Amanda: HITLER! Caused World War 2.
Korky: *choke laughs* * salutes*
Amanda: AMEN! Wait... is it unethical to say that?
Chloe: um... yes.
Amanda: 5 MINUTES LEFT!
*Amanda Epically plays Ode to Joy on Korky’s fingers*
*Korky elegantly laughs*
Korky: We’re gonna wrap this up...
Chloe: *mutters something*
Korky: Only you could come to that conclusion.
Chloe: *whacks Korky lightly upside the head* You should have had a V8.
THE END!
TYPICALLY THINGS INSIDE OF YOUR SKIN ARE WET.
Yes, Sonya....
Sorry. Had to share that.
Check back soon! This may be the last time the nerds all eat lunch together (or share the same class), but it’s sure not to be the last of our adventures!
Date: January 22, 2009
Place: CANADA
Not much happened today. That’s fact. So your not going to get an extensive rant from me. But I’d have to write you guys something. I couldn’t just leave you like this. So instead of me ranting, you get all of us ranting!
Chloe: Why am I the most pale out of everyone?
Korky: Geez, you are pale.
Amanda: Because she’s a vampire! RAWR!
Chloe: MONKEY ATTACK!
Kortlynn is currently being amused by my clipboard. We’re writing in Religion class. Sadly, our last religion class together.
Amanda: notice how the Religion teacher is flipping out on everyone else but doesn’t give a care what we’re doing?
Korky: but we’re nerds...
Amanda: right.
Korky: I EAT ZEE MONKEY!
Amanda: NOOOOOO DON’T EAT ZEE MONKEY! ZEE MONKEY HAS RABIES!!
Korky: DON’T TOUCH THE MONKEY! *touches the monkey*
*Chloe glares*
Korky: YOU SAW NOTHING! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOAAAAAA
Amanda: we have serious issues.
Korky: that’s nice, a monkey up the nose.
Korky: Why don’t you ever write on the back side of the paper, Amanda?
Chloe: I DO!
Amanda: It feels... filthy.
Korky: OH GOD! I LIKE PIE!
Korky: She can’t write down everything we say... that would take forever.
Chloe: *attacks Korky with Monkey pencil case* (I probs should have mentioned the monkey was a pencil case before...O.o)
Korky: Mesh touche pas! DON’T TOUCH!
Chloe: Monkey?
Britt: *passes Amanda a piece of paper*
Amanda: *reads paragraph*
Amanda: Wow. This epically needs drastic grammatical help. Like seriously. Oh yeah, this Nerd-tastic adventure was supposed to be about epicness...
*Korky and Chloe touch rings*
Both: Nerd-tastic powers! Oh. Wow. Didn’t think about that...
Amanda: Korky has a bullet-proof binder! Care to elaborate Korky?
Korky: My binder will rule all! Mwahahahahahahaha.
*Chloe repeatedly pokes Korky’s head*
Chloe: Your head sounds hollow.
Korky: I will destroy you!
Chloe: Your head sounds hollow in different places.
Korky: ...
Korky: *glares* *itches nose* *eye twitch* I can’t do that.
Amanda: *with interviewer epic voice* So Korky, are your religion notes epic?
Korky: why yes. Yes they are. That is just utterly disturbing.
*laughing*
Korky: Azura! That’s the name of one of the characters in my story...
Chloe: that’s my cousin’s name.
*cricket chirps*
Amanda: Should we take this opportunity to brag about our stories so Mibba peoples will read them?
Korky: Yes! Advertising in stories is the best way of... you know... that thing....
Amanda: Subliminal Messaging?
Korky: yes that.
Amanda: so, who’s going first?
Korky: since your story is most epic, you should go first.
Chloe: Go the M-man!
Korky: *to Chloe* you’re... you’re just off, you know that? Just off...
Amanda: DREAM CATCHER = EPICNESS + EVIL AWESOME VILLAIN OF AWESOMENESS + ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! Korky, your turn.
*Korky turns page over*
Chloe: You’re using the filthy side...
Korky: that’s so retarded.
Amanda: *giggles* It’s retardedly funny, that’s the point. XD
Chloe: Are you playing evil tricks on us?
Amanda: love FISH like Jesus loved FISH!
Korky: oh wow.
Britt: Chloe is not the most pale, I am.
Amanda: We meant in this here vicinity.
Korky: ooo big word.
*Chloe pokes Korky*
Korky: If you don’t stop doing this, you’ll feel my wrath!
Chloe *giggles*
Karlene: I was wondering who the monkey was... then it hit me.
Amanda: *throws monkey at Karlene* There. Now it’s literal.
Kortlynn: *stares at Chloe* You look like Elvis Prestly.
Amanda: WHAT?
Amanda: The computer has issues with your name Kortlynn. The Word spell check wants to change your name to has something to do with a murderer.
Korky: ...
*Amanda turns to see Korky doing weird animal style sign language*
Amanda: Wow. I can’t even explain that right.... you just sooooooo would have had to see it.
Korky: I was going for vamp. You’re just jealous because I have mad skill! I can so communicate with monkies.
Chloe: OMG that was perfect.
Korky: *mutters something*
Amanda: Did you say little wall-mart robot Martian?
Korky: wombat.
Amanda: what the heck?
Korky: It has mad ninja skills.
Amanda: O.o
Korky: I can just see it staring at you with its beady black little eyes.... *Continues animal sign language*
Chloe: does the monkey know?
Korky: One day we’re going to be in an epically serious situation and you’re going to need my animal sign language and I’ll be there....
Amanda: HITLER! Caused World War 2.
Korky: *choke laughs* * salutes*
Amanda: AMEN! Wait... is it unethical to say that?
Chloe: um... yes.
Amanda: 5 MINUTES LEFT!
*Amanda Epically plays Ode to Joy on Korky’s fingers*
*Korky elegantly laughs*
Korky: We’re gonna wrap this up...
Chloe: *mutters something*
Korky: Only you could come to that conclusion.
Chloe: *whacks Korky lightly upside the head* You should have had a V8.
THE END!
TYPICALLY THINGS INSIDE OF YOUR SKIN ARE WET.
Yes, Sonya....
Sorry. Had to share that.
Check back soon! This may be the last time the nerds all eat lunch together (or share the same class), but it’s sure not to be the last of our adventures!
Journal, Page Two - Anthems
From the Nerd-tastic Journal...
Date: January 20, 2009
Place: CANADA!
What a day. Today, history was made. Today, the first African-American was sworn in as President of the United States. That is a day to remember.
But we live in Canada. What do us Nerds care? In fact it means a lot.
With the United States leading the way, as they usually do, 2009 starts a new era of change and acceptance. No longer will racism and sexism dominate our society. Everyone stands a fighting chance. No longer will religion, colour, nationality, or gender decide our place.
For the first time in a long time, the world is opening it’s eyes again. And it’s a beautiful thing.
But with President Obama also comes a hope. A hope that the world we’re opening our eyes to doesn’t crumble beneath our feet.
The Mayans said the world as we know it is going to end in 2012, and it just might happen if we keep out act up. We’re killing the planet with pollution, filth, and destruction. The ice caps are melting. And with Canada’s north being mostly ice, that’s bad. Can we look for a greener tomorrow now? Let’s live up to the future science fiction writers of the past layed out for us.
Yet we can scrub the world clean until it shines, but it will be ugly with war and hate. Perhaps the new era will see the end of wars, and the end of Canadians and other peacekeepers dying trying to spread that peace. Acceptance is the way of tomorrow.
And with the new president’s speech echoing through the lunch room, thoughts turned to our friends in the south over the lunch discussion today. Here are some of the greater moments.
I suddenly felt the urge to sing the American national anthem, it was stuck in my head.
“Oh say can you see?
By the dawn’s early light!
Why so proudly we something,
And a something, and something else.
And a something ‘bout stars!
And... uh...” I had even lost the tune. By now I had grabbed the attention of those at the table. Sorry Americans, but I really don't your national anthem.
Chloe and Devon laughed. I shook my head and broke out into “Oh Canada, our home and native land! True patriot love! In all our sons command...” I died out as people stared.
“What?” I asked. Then I thought, with all of Obama’s talk of acceptance, what would happen to a Canadian at a US hockey game who started singing Oh Canada? I started laughing. It was their turn to ask what. I told them. And without further ado, I put my hand over my heart and started singing,
“Oh say can you see?
By the dawn’s early light!
Why so proudly we something!
And a something and...
Oh screw this.
OH CANADA!
Our home and native land!”
We didn’t get past the second line before cracking up.
Soon thoughts turned to other anthems we could screw up. Of course we couldn’t do France, we already have a french anthem. We only knew one line of the British anthem. And no tune. It was enough.
“God save the queen!
And Canada!
And the States, even though they fought you mercilessly for independence.
And probably most of the UK...
And greater parts of Africa...
And Australia.
And just maybe select random islands in the middle of nowhere...”
Another laughing fit.
By now, lunch was over, and for most of us, it was off to religion class. Most of the class tried to drag out the beginning with talk of Obama.
One kid stood up and said, “Can I say a few words?” The teacher let him talk.
He said, “ Ok, today we all know it’s a great day. The states have their first black president. And the world must really be changing because he hasn’t gotten shot yet.”
The teacher scolded him and told him to sit down. He finished his speech as he sat. “I mean, I know we really care ‘cause we would rather watch him and talk about him for weeks, where as our government is about to split in two and we only cared for two days.”
The class laughed. The teacher didn’t. Finally she spoke up.
“He’s right,” she said. We just stared at her in shock.
“You’ll take your lunch to watch the President get sworn in, but would you do the same about your prime minister?”
We told her, “But it’s history. He’s the first African-American to be prez.”
“And our government just might end up being coalition. That’d be history too.”
We were silent for a while. Then one girl piped up, “But our government’s screwed.”
We spent a good five minutes of class laughing.
And so ends another Nerd-tastic adventure. Keep you guys posted, as it happens.
The Nerds.
Date: January 20, 2009
Place: CANADA!
What a day. Today, history was made. Today, the first African-American was sworn in as President of the United States. That is a day to remember.
But we live in Canada. What do us Nerds care? In fact it means a lot.
With the United States leading the way, as they usually do, 2009 starts a new era of change and acceptance. No longer will racism and sexism dominate our society. Everyone stands a fighting chance. No longer will religion, colour, nationality, or gender decide our place.
For the first time in a long time, the world is opening it’s eyes again. And it’s a beautiful thing.
But with President Obama also comes a hope. A hope that the world we’re opening our eyes to doesn’t crumble beneath our feet.
The Mayans said the world as we know it is going to end in 2012, and it just might happen if we keep out act up. We’re killing the planet with pollution, filth, and destruction. The ice caps are melting. And with Canada’s north being mostly ice, that’s bad. Can we look for a greener tomorrow now? Let’s live up to the future science fiction writers of the past layed out for us.
Yet we can scrub the world clean until it shines, but it will be ugly with war and hate. Perhaps the new era will see the end of wars, and the end of Canadians and other peacekeepers dying trying to spread that peace. Acceptance is the way of tomorrow.
And with the new president’s speech echoing through the lunch room, thoughts turned to our friends in the south over the lunch discussion today. Here are some of the greater moments.
I suddenly felt the urge to sing the American national anthem, it was stuck in my head.
“Oh say can you see?
By the dawn’s early light!
Why so proudly we something,
And a something, and something else.
And a something ‘bout stars!
And... uh...” I had even lost the tune. By now I had grabbed the attention of those at the table. Sorry Americans, but I really don't your national anthem.
Chloe and Devon laughed. I shook my head and broke out into “Oh Canada, our home and native land! True patriot love! In all our sons command...” I died out as people stared.
“What?” I asked. Then I thought, with all of Obama’s talk of acceptance, what would happen to a Canadian at a US hockey game who started singing Oh Canada? I started laughing. It was their turn to ask what. I told them. And without further ado, I put my hand over my heart and started singing,
“Oh say can you see?
By the dawn’s early light!
Why so proudly we something!
And a something and...
Oh screw this.
OH CANADA!
Our home and native land!”
We didn’t get past the second line before cracking up.
Soon thoughts turned to other anthems we could screw up. Of course we couldn’t do France, we already have a french anthem. We only knew one line of the British anthem. And no tune. It was enough.
“God save the queen!
And Canada!
And the States, even though they fought you mercilessly for independence.
And probably most of the UK...
And greater parts of Africa...
And Australia.
And just maybe select random islands in the middle of nowhere...”
Another laughing fit.
By now, lunch was over, and for most of us, it was off to religion class. Most of the class tried to drag out the beginning with talk of Obama.
One kid stood up and said, “Can I say a few words?” The teacher let him talk.
He said, “ Ok, today we all know it’s a great day. The states have their first black president. And the world must really be changing because he hasn’t gotten shot yet.”
The teacher scolded him and told him to sit down. He finished his speech as he sat. “I mean, I know we really care ‘cause we would rather watch him and talk about him for weeks, where as our government is about to split in two and we only cared for two days.”
The class laughed. The teacher didn’t. Finally she spoke up.
“He’s right,” she said. We just stared at her in shock.
“You’ll take your lunch to watch the President get sworn in, but would you do the same about your prime minister?”
We told her, “But it’s history. He’s the first African-American to be prez.”
“And our government just might end up being coalition. That’d be history too.”
We were silent for a while. Then one girl piped up, “But our government’s screwed.”
We spent a good five minutes of class laughing.
And so ends another Nerd-tastic adventure. Keep you guys posted, as it happens.
The Nerds.
Journal, Page One - Keys
From the Nerd-tastic Journal...
Date: November 15, 2008
Place: Local Arena.
God bless the iPod. What do you do when you're forced to sit in freezing cold plastic bleachers and watch a hockey game that holds no interest for you? Sit with Kortlynn on your left and Jenn on your right, both sharing their iPods. When you have Paramore and Linkin Park blaring in one ear, and Mozart and Taylor Swift blaring in the other, let me tell you, that is one interesting experience. And it definitely drowns out a screaming crowd.
God bless the iPod.
But noteverything was made to last, and before long, us nerds were struggling to find a means of amusement after cell phone batteries died, and every playlist had been scrolled through. So when Jenn had to leave for an appointment, we seized our chance to get out of the dreaded arena.
Yet, much to our dismay, teachers were guarding the door with blank expressions, and us goodie two shoes weren’t about to tick them off. So when Jenn left and they were staring suspiciously at us despite our reputations, we headed toward the bathroom.
Standing in the grungy, dirty, likely-rarely-cleaned facilities, Kortlynn discovered a locked box with a plexiglass front, and became interested out of sheer boredom. The only contents of the locked box were a fuzzy topped pen and a chart on a piece of paper displaying the dates the bathroom had been cleaned. I took a glance at the numbers. Sept. 1, 2008. Nice. It’s November.
Kortlynn stared with intense interest at the lock.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I wanna see if I can get it open...” she muttered. I rolled my eyes, and went to warm my freezing cold hands under the dryer.
For a good ten minutes, Kortlynn fiddled and tugged and twisted the flimsy, cheap lock. But she couldn’t get it open.
“Does anyone have, like you know, a bobby pin that, like, they don’t want back?”
We all shook our heads and chuckled. Kortlynn glared, but the corners of her mouth twitched to a smile, and she continued to fiddle with the lock while we all made conversation amongst each other.
After a while Karlene announced that it was almost time to leave with a glance at her watch. School was almost over for the day. Slowly we tried to drag Kortlynn out of the room.
“Come on, Korky. Time to go. Just leave it.” I said with stifled laughed behind my voice.
“Yeah, come on,” Karlene said holding the door open. Chloe and I dragged Kortlynn to the door.
“But I want to get it open!” she complained.
I turned to her and said, “Kortlynn, you know if you weren’t smart, you’d be a delinquent.”
We started laughing out loud and managed to drag Kortlynn into the forum of the complex.
“Hey guys, remember that key?” she asked as we walked toward the doors.
Sure enough, on our way out of the arena we had spotted a small key lying in the corner of the arena.
“Yeah, what about it?” Chloe asked.
“Well what if it fits in the lock? We should go back and get it and see if it fits!”
“No, Kortlynn,” Karlene droned.
“Yeah, some of us have busses to catch you know.”
Kortlynn sighed.
“What did you want in there anyways?” Karlene asked.
“The pen...” Korky said questioningly.
“It’s just a pen.” I said.
“It was a fuzzy pen,” Kortlynn teased with a upset voice.
“Psh...” I said.
“Oh, God. Don’t tell me you collect pens,” Karlene shook her head.
“No... yes... well maybe.... ok, so I do! At least I don’t collect stamps.”
It was quiet for a minute.
“I....I collect stamps...” I stuttered out.
We all walked back to the school laughing our heads off.
And so began the tales of the Nerd-tastic adventures. Check in again soon, you never know when the nerds have added a new update to the journal. It may be tomorrow, it may be a week, who knows? But one thing’s for sure. It’s sure to be nerdy.
Date: November 15, 2008
Place: Local Arena.
God bless the iPod. What do you do when you're forced to sit in freezing cold plastic bleachers and watch a hockey game that holds no interest for you? Sit with Kortlynn on your left and Jenn on your right, both sharing their iPods. When you have Paramore and Linkin Park blaring in one ear, and Mozart and Taylor Swift blaring in the other, let me tell you, that is one interesting experience. And it definitely drowns out a screaming crowd.
God bless the iPod.
But noteverything was made to last, and before long, us nerds were struggling to find a means of amusement after cell phone batteries died, and every playlist had been scrolled through. So when Jenn had to leave for an appointment, we seized our chance to get out of the dreaded arena.
Yet, much to our dismay, teachers were guarding the door with blank expressions, and us goodie two shoes weren’t about to tick them off. So when Jenn left and they were staring suspiciously at us despite our reputations, we headed toward the bathroom.
Standing in the grungy, dirty, likely-rarely-cleaned facilities, Kortlynn discovered a locked box with a plexiglass front, and became interested out of sheer boredom. The only contents of the locked box were a fuzzy topped pen and a chart on a piece of paper displaying the dates the bathroom had been cleaned. I took a glance at the numbers. Sept. 1, 2008. Nice. It’s November.
Kortlynn stared with intense interest at the lock.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I wanna see if I can get it open...” she muttered. I rolled my eyes, and went to warm my freezing cold hands under the dryer.
For a good ten minutes, Kortlynn fiddled and tugged and twisted the flimsy, cheap lock. But she couldn’t get it open.
“Does anyone have, like you know, a bobby pin that, like, they don’t want back?”
We all shook our heads and chuckled. Kortlynn glared, but the corners of her mouth twitched to a smile, and she continued to fiddle with the lock while we all made conversation amongst each other.
After a while Karlene announced that it was almost time to leave with a glance at her watch. School was almost over for the day. Slowly we tried to drag Kortlynn out of the room.
“Come on, Korky. Time to go. Just leave it.” I said with stifled laughed behind my voice.
“Yeah, come on,” Karlene said holding the door open. Chloe and I dragged Kortlynn to the door.
“But I want to get it open!” she complained.
I turned to her and said, “Kortlynn, you know if you weren’t smart, you’d be a delinquent.”
We started laughing out loud and managed to drag Kortlynn into the forum of the complex.
“Hey guys, remember that key?” she asked as we walked toward the doors.
Sure enough, on our way out of the arena we had spotted a small key lying in the corner of the arena.
“Yeah, what about it?” Chloe asked.
“Well what if it fits in the lock? We should go back and get it and see if it fits!”
“No, Kortlynn,” Karlene droned.
“Yeah, some of us have busses to catch you know.”
Kortlynn sighed.
“What did you want in there anyways?” Karlene asked.
“The pen...” Korky said questioningly.
“It’s just a pen.” I said.
“It was a fuzzy pen,” Kortlynn teased with a upset voice.
“Psh...” I said.
“Oh, God. Don’t tell me you collect pens,” Karlene shook her head.
“No... yes... well maybe.... ok, so I do! At least I don’t collect stamps.”
It was quiet for a minute.
“I....I collect stamps...” I stuttered out.
We all walked back to the school laughing our heads off.
And so began the tales of the Nerd-tastic adventures. Check in again soon, you never know when the nerds have added a new update to the journal. It may be tomorrow, it may be a week, who knows? But one thing’s for sure. It’s sure to be nerdy.
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