From the Nerd-tastic Journal...
Date: January 28 2009.
Place: The school forum.
Once again we write after boring exams. Karlene and I were stuck at school and thought we’d write something. So you know those stupid Chuck Norris lists? Well the Nerds felt they needed one. Because who’s better than Chuck Norris? THE NERDS!
1. We were uncool before uncool became cool.
2. Being normal is soooooo over rated.
3. Being normal is admitting you have serious problems
4. If we weren’t smart, we’d be delinquents.
5. If you can’t face it, how do you live it?
6. We’re not smart. We just understand life.
7. The answer to everything is 42.
8. Because the answer to everything is 42, everything is molybdenum.
9. In some alien species, ever 42nd girl must be named Moly B. Denum.
10. NOTE TO SELF: do not stare at the sun.
11. NOTE TO SELF: do not light yourself on fire.
12. Vampire monkey cross-breeds sparkle when exposed to UV radiation. Therefore, we, the nerds, conclude that Edward Cullen is part monkey.
14. Contrary to popular belief, the 13th room on the 13th floor of the 13th building on the 13th street, 13 kilometres away from where you are standing in the 13th state holding the 13th star on the American flag leads to heaven, and not hell, but only if you read this as the 13th statement.
15. Did you notice there was no 13th statement? It took a hike.
16. The Mayan people were aliens. They will return to earth on December 21, 2012.
17. Humans are not the only intelligent species on earth. There’s us. And monkeys.
18. You know those things lurking in the shadows? They’re real. (Make friends)
19. You have reached your full potential in life when you can have a coherent conversation with your shadow.
20. You should be afraid of Batman. He knows the Joker.
21. Karlene can make bats disappear.
22. Kortlynn may or may not be the goddess of fire. (fire=love)
23. Amanda’s special. She has voices in her head. They may attack you without warning.
24. Chloe’s glasses of awesomeness give her x-ray vision. Be very afraid.
25. Britt may or may not be a vampire.
26. Jenn’s locker has a 4th dimention.
27. Amy’s blackberry is capable if time travel.
28. The monkey pencil case is capable of flight.
29. People on TV seem to care more about their spleens than their other vital organs.
30. If you press the SHIFT key 5 times the computer squeaks.
31. You just tried it.
32. Alzheimer’s is the next cancer.
33. NOTE TO SELF: Don’t play with liquid nitrogen.
34. Isaac Newton discovered gravity because an apple fell on his head. In truth, we threw it at him.
35. Karlene’s student card says she’s 110 years old.
36. Elevators should have a skill testing question. It would stop all the stupid people from pushing all the buttons. (We know you do it)
37. You can’t fix Amanda’s memory. The voices take up too much room.
38. You can’t read the Nerds’ minds. We are capable of metal blocks. Prevents junk mail.
39. My periodic table has pictures.... doesn’t yours?
40. It’s healthy to throw books at walls.
Check back to this one, something new might have been added!
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