Journal, Page 4 - Short Stories

From the Nerd-tastic Journal...

Date: January 26, 2009
Place: The school forum.

Have you ever played that game where one person writes a sentence, and then the next person does and so on and so forth? Well that’s what we did after exams today. Rather interesting results. Read on, now...

START!

Once upon a time in a land far away there was a magical flipper-whichy.

IT WAS SHINY!

And Edward Cullen came up and gripped it with both hands and licked it.

It screamed and caused Edward to disintegrate.

He was transported to Ouaka.

Ouaka was a magical place filled with mystery and deceit.

The flipper-whichy wanted to bring destruction to the land.

And so paired up with the half vampire, half warlock Jenygoatwhich.

And they made love beneath a shady apple tree.

A lightning storm sent them running to the safety of the great plains.

But the great plains weren’t as safe as they thought they would be. For there was no cover and there was a Minotaur waiting for them.

But they blew into the great horn of the Gods and Theseus showed up and fought the Minotaur.

The Minotaur was stronger than he looked. Out of nowhere he drew a knife and threatened to kill Theseus.

And crimson blood poured from Theseus’ chest. He cried out to the heavens for the love of his life who had saved him from the Minotaur once before.

The heavens answered his prayers. Gabriel came from heaven, making a deal with him. He could come back to life but he would be a mermaid.

He would live for 10 years as a mermaid, but then he would turn into a cow and live for 10 years as a cow.

After 10 years as a cow he would turn into a tree and be forced to dance with the tree nymphs of the forest.

The nymphs loved the cow, well most of them did. And one nymph was determined to get revenge on the cow before the cow turned into a tree.

So he prayed to the heavens for a cow and Gabriel made a deal with him. He could have a cow if he became a unicorn. The nymph agreed to the offer.

And Gabriel turned him into a mighty unicorn, majestic and strong. He ruled the forest with his beauty, though his hide was covered with crimson marks.

Which one day turned violet and sparkly and the unicorn was happy.

Until the unicorn’s best friend was eaten by a vampire! Mwahahahahaha.

The unicorn cried and went to his grave. He prayed to heaven and once again Gabriel came down. He said he couldn’t bring him back but he could give him a large sum of money to make him feel better.

So he took the money, feeling as though he had more than a fair chance at life and threw the money to the poor peasants of the forest as he climbed the technicolour stairs to the gates of heaven.

Where he met Saint Peter who let him open the gates for others.

The others liked cheese. They even made cheese and sometimes the cheese was EVIL!

The evil cheese attacked them. They fought back with pens and swords. It was a gruesome fight and some died in the battle.

And from the sky rained molten cheese which burned the inhabitants of the world below.

Then the cheese turned to ice cream.

And the ice cream into yogurt. The yogurt ate a goat and then chose to follow its dreams and take over the world. Mwahahahahaha.

And the shape shifter goat-man came and annihilated the yogurt, stopping its rage of world destruction.

Then the girl came riding on the elephant and attacked him with the magical flipper-whichy.

The magic flipper-whichy glowed RAINBOW. And beat and beat the whatever that is. The attack on the ugly thingy magically made it so the area was covered in blood. The Cullens showed up, drawn by the scent of the blood. Edward bent down and was about to lick the grass when he saw the flipper-whichy. His jaw dropped with and “o” and if he could drool, he would have. He pointed and ran, chasing after the girl and the flipper-whichy, determined to run to the ends of the earth to get the last lick of the flipper-whichy.

THE END.